Conde Nast Free Bag the Ugliest I’ve Ever Seen

This should win me some points in the blogosphere. Not. I’m sure the offers to review products will come pouring in now! Not.
But that’s ok. Because obviously blog readers are smart enough to know not to order a magazine subscription based solely—or even partially—on the “free gift” that comes with it. You really can’t expect anything great.
That said, ordering a subscription for a fashion magazine from Conde Nast, which arguably produces the best fashion publications in the world, with the promise of a free bag, is bound to bring one’s expectations just slightly higher than a brown paper bag. Honestly, I’d rather have a brown paper bag. Hell, even a crumpled-up-into-a-ball paper bag, than the piece of shit 100% vinyl purse that I received in the mail.
The thing was as flat as a pancake in some factory-style form—it looked like it had been flattened by a big-ass iron into a square, then foisted by a machine into a plastic wrap (even the plastic wrap wasn’t half the quality of the wrap that holds the magazines). Then shipped in a non-descript pale gray bubble envelope.
A recycler to the core, I can make nearly anything into something useful somehow, or at least a part of it. Or post it on freecycle. But, this one is a challenge! I’ve never been a fashion maven, to say the least, but even I would never consider actually using this thing as a bag—this, from someone who still carries around the free Enfamil black diaper bag when needed, so it’s not like I’m all, “Hermes or bust.”
And I’d be embarrassed as hell to post this thing on freecycle. Can I somehow use the pull string? The one button? The handles? The vinyl? Nope. Nada.
Oh, wells!

I shall have to be happy with my subscription as is, and drool over the handbags in the magazine.