Reasons I Don’t Like My Child’s Teacher
To be honest, I don’t like my son’s teacher. I’d love your mommy input because this mommy needs to know: am I being a picky bitch or is this woman annoying?
Here are a few things that annoy me:
1. After kindergarten roundup last spring, when I met her for the first time, she said my son asked a question during story time so therefore he was not ready for school. So we started off on a bad note, not because I can’t take criticism of my child, but that, to me, was a poor reason for him not being “ready” for school.
2. She’s one of those faux peppy blonde people with wide eyes and a perpetual smile pasted on her face, while the knife is still in your back. Her eyes are so wide it reminds me of this show I used to watch as a kid where the robot (Orphan Annie cartoon?) had eyes always showing the entire pupil. How does she get her eyes to stay that wide all the damn time?
3. On Facebook, she has friended some of the moms of students in the class. Sorry, but this is in poor taste. I can see having friends, and whoops, one of them happens to be the mom of a student she teaches. I get that. But she has 5 moms or so from current students, and those are the only ones who get called to volunteer at the classroom parties, etc.
4. Also on Facebook: Photos of her showing cleavage and drinking vodka. No doubt the woman needs vodka. Hell, anyone who spends the better part of every day managing a classroom of 20 kids, and having small kids of her own, deserves to drink once in awhile. I don’t begrudge her that, hells no. But blatantly public photos in full party mode, drinking on a boat with your bikini down to the nipples, or raising the bottle with friends whilst smiling at the camera–is just not a good idea for a kindergarten teacher to have PUBLICLY in most of their albums on Facebook. At least have the decency to make your profile somewhat private (ie, Friends Only) if you’re going to post that shit.
5. Bad grammar. I’m really not an uptight bitch most of the time, I swear. But I winced at parent night to hear her go on in this vein: “It will be more funner for the kids when we start….” or “She seen me walk to the chalkboard….” or “We don’t have none of those.” Ya know? The woman has a Master’s Degree, for crying out loud.
6. Chomping on gum during parent teacher conferences. I only got 15 mins to talk to her. Twice per year. Oh, the irony to hear this, “He’s just,” she rolled her eyes heavenward to find the right words while chomping–I was just waiting for her to blow a bubble!–“not all that mature, ya know? He needs to work on that.” Yeah. Problem was, I couldn’t ask any questions because she wanted to spend the entire 15 mins. going over his report card, just reading to me what it said. Lady, I can read. It was a complete waste of time.
7. She gives me a ton-load of work! Every night my son comes home with some cockamamie note of instructions for me to do. Like he needs to bring in a fresh pomegranite the very next day or something. Constantly. “This week we’re focusing on family,” she’ll write. “I need a list of things that you do as a Family – Daddy, Mommy, and siblings. And photographs of those activities. By tomorrow.” And the supply list at the beginning of the year! This post by another mom shows that I must not be alone here.
8. Talks non-stop about her kids and husband. Daddy, daddy, daddy. Sends home books about Daddy, asked my son why he didn’t draw a picture of his daddy. This, after numerous times I have told her he doesn’t have a dad. “We’re a mom and kid family,” I reminded her at PT Conferences. “Oh!” she says as if I’m telling her for the first time, and as if I’m the first single mother in the universe. “So, pretty please, can you lighten up with the Daddy Daddy Daddy optional books you’re shoving down his throat?” I said that more diplomatically of course.
9. She calls about stupid stuff and fails to call about important things. Like this, for example.
Due to unfortunate circumstances, it looks like we have her again next year! Heaven help me.