Here was my New Year’s resolution last year:
To open and deal with my mail on a daily basis. A corollary to that is also dealing with the assault of papers brought home by my kids from school.
This isn’t just a New Year’s resolution for me. It’s become an absolute necessity, for reasons I’m too embarrassed to go into here, but let’s just say that the consequences of this failure are starting to cripple me with near panic attacks at the sight of piles and boxes of papers and unopened envelopes stacked throughout the house.
NOTE: I am NOT avoiding bills. I pay everything possible either via phone, in person, or preferably, through automatic payments.
And it has nothing to do with dreading any mail that I receive. In fact, two months ago I came across a Christmas card my aunt had sent me in 2014 with a $20 bill inside.
Nope, this is a psychological procrastination issue I just can’t seem to get under control. It’s like I belong on a satellite version of Hoarders, called Hoarders: The Paper Trail Episode. Or something like that.
|Made by Mommy Needs Vodka via
I figured I’d be successful this year! Aside from the main reasons – for example, that if I am not, my kids will go hungry because I let their school lunch balance go into the negative due to not seeing the warning letter – I knew I could at least easily coast through to the 4th!
With no mail delivery on Jan. 1, I was scot-free that day of course. Saturday the 2nd I felt rather superior opening the two late Christmas cards I received in addition to an EOB statement I tossed in a To Be Filed box. No mail again Sunday, and Monday the 4th I asked my son to shred the two pieces of junk mail we received….luckily, he’s still Huck Finn about a couple of chores, including the paper shredder.
On Tuesday, the unthinkable happened: No mail and no papers in my kids’ backpacks the first day back. But yesterday I was juggling a million things and actually lost the mail somewhere on the Black Hole that is our kitchen island. Worse, my kids each brought home such huge fucking stacks of papers, I swear the volume easily killed two small trees.
Damnit. So, what does a person like myself with adult ADD do with Grappling with Graphs sheets that aren’t homework per se, but that need Going Over, and multiplication quizzes with two missed problems that need Going Over? They get put on The Stack or in The Latest Box of Papers.
Hence, my failure. At this point, I think I should just chuck it all in the Fuck It Bucket instead, what do you think?