Safe For Work (Mostly) Memes That Offended
It should be common sense that if you’re an easily offended or an extremely sensitive-to-Facebook-posts individual, my Facebook page(s) are probably not for you. Mommy Needs Vodka is the title, folks, not I Love Being a Perfect Mommy. And that’s okay. I actually started my main MNV page and Mommy Needs Vodka 2.0 because I have family and friends on my personal wall who don’t share our bawdy sense of humor. I say “our” because the majority of my followers not only appreciate the humor I share each day, they actually come back with comments even more hilarious than the posts themselves! And I love you all for it.
But the internet is not without the Debbie Downers, or the ones who say, “I love the majority of your posts, but this one is just Not Right!” Sadly, I cannot please 3 million people with every single post. Hell, I can’t even please myself with half of what I do in life, let alone millions of people 100% of the time.
(I’ll start by offending you all with the “30” in the title when there are so far slightly fewer…but I’m planning to add to it in the future.)
Here are some of the latest, greatest offenders:
1. Easter Eggs that Promote Socialism
The level off butthurt and self-righteousness was off the charts on this one! Apparently, we need to teach our 3 year olds that competing with 10 year olds for Easter eggs in the yard is an important “life is not fair” lesson. Make ’em cry if you have to….the important thing is, Life Is Not Fair, and Easter Sunday is the time to show them that. Otherwise, you’re just promoting socialism.
2. Marilyn Monroe is dead.
I was merely trying to get the point of Sunday laziness across with a vintage pic of someone in bed. My bad that I chose someone who is deceased. I truly didn’t mean anything offensive by it.
3. This means you’re a superior parent.
People just can’t resist an opportunity to point out the ways in which they are a superior parent! Because if a cute shirt like this is being worn by a child, you just know that child is a brat and it’s the parents’ fault for not being the Sanctimom that you are.
4. Good moms have perfect homes.
For the same reason as the one above, the sanci-parents were out in full force on this one! No parent in the world would allow their child to spill a sticky substance on the kitchen floor.
Do I let my kids use the bird? No. But once again, the need to point that out on social media is irresistible!
6. No way would Pooh swear.
One of the most popular morning posts, but there are always those few who say they love the page, but that this one is just Not Right and Not Funny. Yes, we know Winnie the Pooh wouldn’t swear. That’s why it’s so damn funny…
7. Starbucks has done it again.
Starbucks have struggled for years to please everyone with their holiday cups! One year they were flamed for not having enough color, then last year it was too much, and most recently they were accused of putting a lesbian couple on the cup. Horror of horrors! The cartoon hands weren’t gender specific, but it had people up in arms regardless. So some jokester made this hilarious suggestion for this year’s holiday cups:
It sent some people over the edge on the page, and just for posting it, I got flamed over the coals….just like Starbucks. Which is, of course, fine with me.
8. There are some things you can’t joke about.
But I tend to joke about nearly everything regardless. Here, I’ve been accused of making fun of mental illness. The fact is, I personally have been hospitalized for depression in the past, and take anxiety meds and an anti-depressant now. And occasionally I will joke about that, too.
The confusion with this meme stems from the fact that most people don’t realize the difference between OCD and OCPD. Everyone says they have OCD, when in fact they have OCPD traits. So although the meme is incorrect in its usage, I try to educate people in the comments. OCD is a debilitating anxiety disorder that involves horrifying, intrusive thoughts. OCPD is a personality trait characterized by an obsession with orderliness and perfection. But, no one knows what OCPD means, so in memes OCD is used. Bottom line, the joke is about OCPD despite it being ‘wrong’ on the meme.
9. You can’t joke about this, either.
Similar problem as the above.
10. If you’re nice to people, they’ll just expect it.
What a sweet, adorable gesture by these parents, I thought when I saw this. Apparently, not! People were furious that anyone might “expect” a note like this when babies were born to cry. No good deed should go unpunished. Many people thought that everyone shouldn’t mind sitting near a screaming baby for four hours, and so therefore the parents were doing a disservice to all the other parents who don’t provide this sweet gesture. Lordy.
11. This means domestic violence is okay.
Who knew that this funny little quip about spanking was actually promoting violence?
12. About being a bully
This one brought a lot of crazies out of the woodwork.
13. I hated Algebra #sorrynotsorry
Most were quick to spout about how they think algebra is used in daily life, and what a disservice I’ve done by making people hate algebra, blah blah blah. Of course we all use mental math in daily life, but at least for me, no it’s not like high school algebra.
14. Single parents are the downfall of society.
We have such power, us single parents! We have single-handedly brought the world to its knees. No other meme on the entire run of my page has ever been as popular or controversial than this one. You’ll just have to take your soapbox elsewhere, because I post it every year on Father’s Day, and will continue to do so.
For the bitter men who think I’m “stealing” their day, don’t give anyone the power to take your day away from your kids…simply get off mommy Facebook pages and go spend time with your family!
15. Letting men steal Mother’s Day!
I only get about 10% of the flack for this one as the one above, because society generally praises men for being single dads while shaming single moms. But some of the butthurt was for the same reasons as above. It’s not “not following the rules” to wish someone a happy day when someone else thinks it shouldn’t be their day. Listen, if you’re a super-strict rule-follower, you’re not gonna be happy on my page.
16. Go Fund My Vodka
We’re all guilty of making some poor life choices. All of us. At some point in time, we’ve made a bad purchasing decision or fucked up some other way. It would be nice to have someone else pay for our spouse’s jail bail, but honey, you picked him (or her)! Folks, there’s a difference between a worthy cause like certain serious medical issues or the death of a child, and your poor life choices. I think most of us by now have been bombarded with ridiculous requests for money via GFM, and this meme is for that purpose. The reason this is offensive to people is because, well, some people just can’t tell the difference.
17. Admiring this fine policeman!
What with the #metoo movement underway, some guys felt that we’re being hypocritical by admiring this guy since we’re acting “no better than men” who admire an attractive woman. And to that I say, horseshit. There are thousands of pages dedicated to treating women as objects, and far more women than men have historically been subjected to physical violence. And here we have a one photo of a fine looking gentleman fully clothed that we admire, and men go into full meltdown mode? Gimme a break. He can arrest me anytime!
18. This one sadly proved me right.
Naturally, someone had to bring up politics, and the battle in the comments was on.
19. Being awake is better than being dead.
This one was offensive because, well, I should be grateful that at least I woke up at all. That fact just doesn’t cut it when you’re forced to endure an entire day being overly tired due to a lack of sleep, either from your neighbor’s use of the weed whacker at 5am or your crying, colicky baby. By that logic, we should all be grateful when we’re eating a carrot instead of a donut, because somewhere someone else isn’t eating at all. So, fair warning: We complain (and laugh) about life’s little absurdities here.
20. I love you, Forest!
I’ll probably go to hell for laughing at this one, as it made a lot of people angry. I love Forest Whitaker, and despite seeing many of his movies, wasn’t even aware of his Ptosis condition until after I posted this meme. I’m sorry, Forest!
21. The C Word
Many people don’t like the C word, and I post it sparingly. But sometimes, no other word will do! I laugh at this one every time I see it.
22. Then vs. Now
Yes, I know why the Good Old Days weren’t truly good. Still couldn’t help but laugh at this one! Especially after seeing his socks…
23. You is Ignorant
There are folks out there who have not seen the movie, The Help. In it, Viola Davis’s character tells her little charge, “You is smart, you is kind, you is important.” This meme is a play on those famous words. Yet, many were quick to point out the grammatically incorrect sentences here – laughably, with their own poor grammar.
24. The Bathroom Issue
I don’t like politics on my page. It’s a humor page. It’s a place where people from both sides of the aisle can come every day to laugh together. In fact, if you’re to the far extreme on either side, you’re highly likely to be offended at something posted here. At least we should all be able to agree that no sane person would ever put their toilet paper roll on like the picture on the left door! It should always go over, right? Well, of course the comments devolved to the gender/bathroom issue. My bad.
25. Old couples: Making widows feel bad
Sometimes, I know I’m in for it with certain things I post. I’ll just gird my loins for an influx of complaints. But when I posted this sweet photo on Valentine’s Day, I was completely blindsided that it would offend anyone! More than one person wrote, asking how dare I post a photo like this when some people have lost their spouses? Was my goal to make widows feel badly? Huh?! Ok, for starters, I’m a single parent so this sweet sentiment doesn’t even currently apply to me…it’s for those fortunate enough to be in a long-term loving relationship. In other words, no, I didn’t post it with the goal of making people feel bad if they are widowed, divorced, or single for other reasons.
I hope this article didn’t offend anyone, but odds are, it did. The goal of my page has always been to make you all laugh every day with me, and enjoy yourselves. Truly! Sadly, I can’t please everyone all of the time, nor guarantee you’ll laugh at every post.
When I get complaints, I give the same advice to everyone: If you don’t like the page, Unlike it so you stop seeing it in your newsfeed. If you do like most of the posts, but occasionally dislike one, use the handy scroll feature for that one.
Life’s too short to get our panties in a wad over the small stuff.