Being young and in love is a magical thing. When we first meet our “soulmates,” we feel as though everything in life becomes clear and perfect. And, eventually, we get married and we have children. When we decide to have children—sometimes, life can completely change for couples. Some for the better, others not so much.
While in a sense parenthood has made us feel *old*, our son has certain made us embrace being a ‘kid at heart’. Like, I never though a simple game of peek-a-boo could make us so damn happy.
My twins were born 11 weeks early so they were in the hospital for 8 and 9 weeks. During that time, my husband and I really leaned on each other for support and comfort. It was a difficult time for the both of us but we got through it together and were really proud of each other.
Everything changed when they came home. My husband was no longer my main priority as I was responsible for taking care of TWO newborn babies. I went from being an army wife, where everything I did revolved around my husband, to a first time mom of two who didn’t even have time to shower. It was a lot! He was active duty and had a back injury so he wasn’t hands on or helpful AT ALL, and that caused a lot of resentment.
We stayed together until they were 4 but he ultimately left our family and I know it’s because he wasn’t my number one focus. Of course we had the same issues that a lot of other married couples have, but everything changed in our relationship after the babies.
We both love our children very much and are getting better at coparenting, but it’s been a challenge.
I’ll always be grateful for those tiny 4 pound babies, they changed my life for the better and continue to do so.
I feel more “in love” than before because I get to see my spouse become a fantastic parent. Although we do express it differently: usually with watching the kiddos while the other one sleeps in or doing laundry or emptying the dishwasher. We just try to at least make out if there’s not time/energy for much else.
We have been together for over 11 years and married for almost 7. Had our first when I was 16 and him 17. We have 3 beautiful daughters now. Age 9, 5, and 1. We still love to do the same things we used to and still play around. We have sex every day, sometimes multiple times a day. Even if that means staying up super late and making time for it after we get stuff done. Our relationship has changed for the better. It’s all in how you make it work. Don’t lose yourself and always make time for each other. We look at it as the girls will grow up and have their own lives and we have each other to count on for forever so we need to continue to build ourselves up as well. Show your kids how marriage or partnership can and should be. Both equal and giving and taking.
Definitely went through a rough patch post-partum and I think my husband felt responsible to step up. When I needed a nap, or help with work around the house, or help with just taking our daughter so I could have a few hours to myself- he was there. He was never a selfish person, but he was so incredibly selfless with what I or our daughter needed once she was born. It really blew my mind how supportive he was and how loved he made me feel. My respect and appreciation for him grew in a way that I don’t think would have occurred any other way. He told me early in our relationship that he wanted kids, and I could definitely see it- our daughter brought the best of his character out.
Going through the sleep deprivation, diapers, and rough patches of parenthood has made my husband and I rely on each other so much more than before. We’re even more dedicaded to our marriage after kids than we were before. The infatuation and passion from before kids gives way to deep lasting love that lasts.
We invented “serial dating” because we couldn’t get babysitters. One of us goes to a movie the first night (by themselves) then the other parent goes the next night, and then we talk about the movie. Usually my partner went first because he was good with not giving the plot away. We couldn’t get sitters because one of our kids had child-onset psychosis and would get violent – not something you can expect a teenager to be able to handle.
I was worried that having a baby would ruin our relationship, but now we sit and watch our 10 month old and we haven’t been happier. We used to be fiery, but now we are peaceful and I think it’s better. Our son has brought a light into our marriage that I didn’t know was missing.
having a child made me fall out of love with her dad completely which was good cause he was nottttttttttttttttttttttttttt a healthy person. I always wondered if I just loved him to bring our daughter into the world cause once she was here within a month I was over it. also I had postpartum depression and both of them were just demanding way too much from me I could only give what I had to my daughter not also a man child too.
My husband and I have been together for 12 years, married for 7, and have almost 3 kids under 4 years old. Our relationship is much stronger than it was before kids. I feel like bringing babies into this world bonded us more than we imagined it could. Sure, having kids is more work than before but it’s like they brought purpose to our lives. We were both just working and making money, but then what? Seemed like we were both just floating through life. We actually fight less now that we have our awesome babies.