In all relationships and marriages, both parties usually have parameters of what they will and won’t accept out of their partner. Of course, there are the socially acceptable ones—don’t cheat, don’t lie, don’t completely screw me over. But, there are some that are a bit wild and controlling that scream: “THIS IS A HUGE RED FLAG, GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN.”
For many, it’s easy to identify these red flags and the “crazy cards” some people lay out on the table. But, for others, it’s not so easy and they end up trapped inside of a marriage in which they are majorly unhappy because they are controlled like a goddamn robot.
One woman online had shared a list of demands for her husband to a Facebook group and received a lot of backlash for being too crazy and controlling. So, she came back with a “toned down” list of rules and demands she has in her marriage with her husband. In all honesty, I’m curious to see what the original list looked like if this is the “toned down” one.
The list includes rules about who her husband can/can’t be friends with, how much he is allowed to drink per year, and what recreational activities he’s allowed to partake in.
People online began immediately coming down on this woman for being a crazy controlling loony toon to her husband—and setting a bad example for women everywhere. One person said:
“You can’t own someone! This is a hostage negotiation, not a marriage.”
“If that’s your list I’m sorry to say (you) will probably be single for a long time.”
“You can’t do this to another human and expect to be happy – people who are happily married don’t need (a) rules list, their boundaries are already respected.”
One person said:
“That’s an abuseive relationship, and she is an abuser.”
And another added:
“If I were him I would work 170 hours a week as long as it’s away from home.”
Another suggested that this woman seeks professional help if she feels that this is what she needs to have a successful relationship and marriage. And, I’m going to have to agree with this Facebook user right there.
If you enter a relationship with the mindset that you need to control your partner to the extent that you’re turning into their mother—preventing them from having a life outside of you and your relationship—you shouldn’t be in a relationship. In fact, successful relationships are ones in which both partners appreciate each other for who they are and their own likes/dislikes. Additionally, any relationship that is successful allows both parties to have a life outside of each other and the relationship. Or else, you’ll end up resenting the sh*t out of each other and running for the hills.
Someone find this woman and shake some sense into her, STAT.