We love our kids when they’re young—so new, so beautiful, so tiny. But, as they get older and they grow into toddlers, we start to realize we cannot wait until they are out of our hair. We count down the days until they are 18-years-old, out of our house and away from our refrigerator. Sure, we love our kids, but we’d also love nothing more than to say something without an echo, a sassy reply, or a straight-up mess.
6yo: Mommy, when you get older will you look all gross?
Me: What do you mean, 'gross'?
6yo: Like how you are now, but wrinklier.
— Kristen Mae (@AbandonPretense) August 27, 2016
My son got mad at me yesterday and opened all the bananas in the house. What type of passive aggressive monster… pic.twitter.com/4p2Ucqh9NF
— Victor Pope Jr (@VictorPopeJr) March 9, 2016
5: daddy can I tell you a secret?
Me: sure thing buddy
5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 9, 2015
8yo: Adult polar bears can weigh almost 1,000 pounds.
8yo: Yeah, that's almost twice as much as you.
Me: . . .
8yo: What? It is.
— keith (@tchrquotes) September 2, 2016
My daughter brings a checklist to stores now and just makes random checks. It makes everyone uncomfortable. pic.twitter.com/UgHJ4eIDSc
— Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) September 25, 2016
my mom writes my little brothers teacher a note and he brings it back home the next day and says she wrote this😭😭 pic.twitter.com/lAVjFZIcEE
— britt (@Brittanyr7513) March 10, 2016
7yo: I could see you and my teacher getting married.
Me: I'm married to your mom.
7yo: Well you could get a divorce.
(My 7yo is savage af.)
— The Dad (@thedad) September 1, 2016
10yo: Grown ups don't do anything that needs imagination.
7yo: Mum plays shop with me.
10yo: That's just to keep you quiet.
— Francesca Williams (@cannyfrank) August 27, 2016
TODDLER: *spitting out mouthful of grapes and scrambled eggs he's been chewing for five minutes* MINE! Don't eat it!
ME: We're good.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 8, 2018
Should i be offended my 3yo covers his ears and yells "STOP!" when i dance?
— Chris Cox (@Coxy4Queensland) August 29, 2016