If I’m being realistic, being a mom or dad is a blessing, but also a curse. Come on guys, let’s not lie to ourselves. We love our children more than the air we breathe, but we also hate when they troll us like professionals because we know, deep down, they got it from us.
So we sit back and we watch as our 3-year-olds take us down, and wonder—what did I ever do to deserve such a savage child?
I’m not saying one of my kids is “more difficult” than the others, but so far my oldest wants a remote control car for Christmas, the youngest wants a stuffed unicorn, and the middle one has requested a dinosaur egg so he can raise and train his own velociraptor from birth.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 28, 2018
8yo: Mom, will you put ketchup on my hotdog?
Me: You’re old enough to do it yourself.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 5, 2018
Just caught my 9yo forging my signature on a school paper. He’s going to be a blast as a teenager.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 24, 2018
Me [walking into bathroom]: GET IN HERE.
Me: There is pee everywhere. How do you do this? Clean this up.
[2 mins later]
Son: Where's the plunger?
Son: [pointing at 15 paper towels he tried to flush]
Me: From now on you have to pee outside.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) October 17, 2018
me *brings toddler his popsicle* What do you say?
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 31, 2018
TODDLER: *spitting out mouthful of grapes and scrambled eggs he's been chewing for five minutes* MINE! Don't eat it!
ME: We're good.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 8, 2018
You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 12, 2014
me: i love you
son: i love popsicles
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 12, 2018
Me: I’m only going to ask you to clean this mess up ONE more time.
6-year-old: That’s good. I was tired of hearing you ask.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 6, 2018
Me: Can you go tell your brother that dinner is ready?
Son: *standing one inch from my ear* DINNER IS READY!
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 30, 2018