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25 Thoughts Every Woman Has During Really Disappointing Intercourse

When it comes to life in the bedroom, not everyone is always satisfied. Let’s face it, not every partner we have knows how to make us happy and, no matter how hard we try, we can’t force it if it’s just not there. And, when we’re in the middle of an act that is just not going to receive a standing ovation, our mind wanders.

Not just to the negative, but to 150 other things we have to do, have to say, and have to eat. Come on, how many times have you thought about that pint of ice cream in the freezer and counting down the minutes (or seconds) until you can escape moaning into the cookie dough? I have, for sure.

1. How is this considered “pleasure” for either one of us?

2. I really hope he doesn’t think that’s “in.” Is it even in? Does he need help to find where it should go?

3. Oh, I guess he needs a map for everything else, too.

4. Did I switch the laundry over to the dryer?

5. Should I tell him that I can’t even feel anything?

6. I wonder if I remembered to set the DVR to record Grey’s Anatomy…

7. I wonder what Jackson Avery’s like in bed.

8. This would be so much better if I was blindfolded so I can stop looking at the top of his sweaty head.

9. Leg. Cramp.

10. If I fake it, will it stop?