When someone gets cheated on, many times, they think that the right thing to do is up and leave the person who cheated on them. But, not everyone is like that.
when you love someone and have gone through so much together, you can trust that this IS just a bump in the road. when my love cheated on me it was a low point in both of our lives and we were both going through stuff. since then we have gotten better and therefore together, gotten stronger. i love them with all of my heart still and honestly if your soulmate is your best friend then one day you can maybe laugh about it like we do.
We had been together for years. I became an alcoholic and a complete fucking mess. I did a lot of things I wasn’t proud of. We were so miserable together. I was self destructive and depended on him for everything. Those couple years were the worst of my life. Then one day I got help and got better. About 2 years later we were amazing. We had worked on all these problems, i was a sober productive, healthy member of our relationship. Out of nowhere he told me that aboyt a week or so before I got help, he cheated on me. He was so unhappy and he was planning on leaving me but didn’t have the guts. So he met some girl, slept w her and then planned on moving out. But a few days later I changed my life and he realized he wanted to be with me and be a part of my change. When he told me I was shocked, we’d been together since teenagers and had only slept w each other. But I was so relieved for him, you could tell this secret was killing him. I was sad and hurt. I cried. But without blinking an eye I told him I forgive you and I love you. I did a lot of horrible things during that period and we were the unhealthiest relationship you’d ever seen. Over those two years we became this amazing couple again. He was upset that I had forgiven him so easily. He said he deserved for me to leave him but that never crossed my mind. He forgave me for all the shit I did and I wanted to forgive him. He told me a little more than a year ago and honestly I never even think about it. I was worried it would linger but the sadness lasted a few weeks and that was it. We did go back to couple counceling and he saw his own therapist to deal w some guilt but that’s it. I never understood people who said cheating was an immediate deal breaker. Relationships are so complicated that it’s really dangerous to make blanket statements. If you use this it’d be cool if I was anonymous. Not everyone knows what happened. It’s his story to tell, not mine.
We both knew that we loved each other through such a deep connection. We knew that if it ever came to it we would always choose each other over another. I began emotionally cheating on him after a few years of us together and around the same he began to do so too. There was no question of wanting to breakup yet we were both hurt. After a long time of talking we came to the conclusion that maybe non monogamy could work for us. And it really has.
I honestly don’t view cheating as a big deal as long as they’re practicing safe sex and not passing anything along. Monogomy came about as a way to use women to aquire land and resources. We’re just not all wired that way. If he treats me well, and I’m happy, then it just doesn’t phase me. I know I’m in the minority though.
We were together 6 years, I stayed because I had hope things would change. It was also hard to think of throwing away so many years so many memories. It only got worse. And trust never was the same. It was hard for him because I didn’t trust him and he didn’t understand what I was going thru. It was hard for me because as much as I wanted to trust him again I just couldn’t. We’re still together and it’s a constant battle everyday.
I stayed with him because I believe in second chances. He was struggling to understand who he was, and I decided to give him the opportunity to redeem himself. That is not the easy route. It was so incredibly emotionally draining, but I believed it was worth it because of who we were together. I saw our relationship as worth the fight.
I stayed with my significant other because I decided I wasn’t going to punish myself over his moment of weakness. I didn’t find out about it until a year after it happened – I knew I wanted to spend my life with him and I wasn’t going to let 5 minutes ruin my future.
I always thought that if I were cheated on, that relationship would be over instantly. My fiancee and I had been together for 2 years when he came to my house at 5 in the morning crying to confess his infidelity. That’s why I forgave him. He was drinking and slipped up with a friend of his. He came to me immediately to admit that he messed up. He worked with this particular person and he actually quit his job. He severed all ties, quit his job, gave me complete access to his phone and computer. We’re now on our way to 4 years together, we got engaged on Christmas. He knew he messed up and didn’t deny that. He admitted his fault and did whatever he could to fix it and although I was (and still am) very hurt, I appreciate his honesty and continue to work on our trust.
Last year, I found out my husband of 10 years had been cheating with a 19 year old he met on a porn website. It would have been so much easier to leave, but it’s not what I want for my life. He cut off all ties, stopped watching porn (without me, at least!), and is getting help from a sex therapist and psychiatrist who diagnosed bipolar. We are seeing a GREAT couples therapist, and I have my own individual therapist. I realized the time to love him most was when he deserved it least. Our marriage and communication is better than it has been in years, and while the past hurts like a mofo, I am really looking forward to our future.
I stayed with him ONLY because I found out 2 days after we got married. I moved back to Connecticut (my home state) from Nevada where we had a house together and told him to move to me when he cut the crap I gave him a year or I’d serve him papers he didn’t know that though. It took a while (7months) but he hasn’t fucked up since and we have a beautiful 17 month old daughter now who is literally everything and I don’t regret giving him a second chance.