Choosing a name for your child can cause a lot of drama in your relationship. Sometimes, a guy and girl (or guy/guy, girl/girl) don’t see eye-to-eye on a baby name. Usually, it’s an argument or two and then, you compromise and find one you both like. But, what happens when your husband suggests a baby name that will bother you to the core every single time you look at your daughter?
A pregnant mother recently posted the question via a throwaway account on Reddit to remain anonymous. She said:
This title might look funny but its an actual problem between me (23F) and my husband (24M). We’ve been dating for a year, been married for 2 years. I got pregnant like 7 months ago so recently we started discussing name for the baby. Ever since we found out its gonna be a girl my husband wants to name it like his exes name. Its not any ex but the one he dated for long period of time and loved the most. In the beginning of our relationship we had may problems because of her but she moved away so the problems went away. He really loved her and he never hid that from me but I thought it was over once she moved away. Now he made it clear that he wants the baby to have that name and I can name the second child. When I asked him why does he want that name so badly he said just because he and his ex didnt work out doesnt mean he doesnt want something to keep reminding him of her. He doesnt understand how much its affecting me and keeps saying its just the hormones. Is he still in love with the ex or its normal that he wants to name OUR child like that.
Many on Reddit agreed that the husband was being insensitive.
I’m more concerned about his lack of respect for you as his partner, his number one, his wife. You might try relationship counseling but I suspect his disrespect extends beyond the baby naming issue.
And, klleah added:
When your daughter gets older how do you explain that to her? “Oh honey, daddy wanted to name you after an ex girlfriend because even though things didn’t work out with them, that doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be reminded of her every single day.”
I mean really?
That’s why you keep a card or maybe a picture? Like nothing is more creepy than this.
I don’t know if he’s still in love with her and just settled with you, or if he is just really stupid. To blame it on your hormones is a joke.
One Reddit user actually is named after her father’s ex.
I’m a girl who was named after my dad’s lover (mom had no idea) and I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE my name. He just casually told me on one occasion. In general, the name is beautiful but when I think about the reason why was I named like that it makes me puke. So for the love of god don’t ever name your child by your ex partner, it will bring a bitter taste to your child’s mouth (pondering of renaming myself in the future, yes it’s that dreadful for me).
Tell him that you want to name your second child after one of your previous fuck buddies because the sex was so good you just want to be reminded of it even though things didn’t work out.
Like seriously what the fuck is he thinking. I don’t know your husband’s feelings towards his ex but it’s not normal.
How would you feel if your husband wanted to name your child after his ex-girlfriend?