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This Guy Created A Hilarious Guide To Women Based On Their Nails And It’s Way Too Real

When you begin dating a woman, it’s hard to know everything about them. It takes months before you realize that you’re dating a stage five clinger, and it’s time to GTFO of the relationship entirely. By then, you’re already wrapped up in the chaos of the craziness and somehow, you end up trapped in this tornado of drama and scandal. But, what if guys were to tell you that from a distance, you can learn all you need to know about a potential female companion based on her nails and her nails alone?

While it may seem a bit crazy to imagine, one Twitter user is here to tell you—no my friends, it is possible. Rocky decided to go through all of the time, effort, and research to create, what he is calling, “Nails At First Sight: Survival Guide 101.” It’s obviously and not very discretely created for his “bros.”

The video starts out with Rocky describing that colors are extremely important in deciding if a woman is “safe” or “dangerous.” From the very first page, Rocky gives over a dozen colors that indicate a woman is safe. The colors are neutral, light pinks and grays. But, he indicates that a woman who has white nails, dark nails, or a french manicure may be dangerous—so, take caution.

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Rocky moves on to let everyone know that bright, neon colors are a warning sign to run in the complete opposite direction. Lime green, bright red, yellow, and orange are warning signs that this girl is on the crazy train. He says to make sure you have both health and life insurance to keep up with this kind of girl.

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If you thought this was enough—don’t worry, he keeps going. Next, Rocky explains that shapes are equivalent to a woman’s mood. He goes through every single kind of shape a woman has, indicating that stiletto nails, mountain peaks, and arrowheads mean women are violent and aggressive.

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Then, Rocky breaks down what a woman will be like when she has each kind of nail. A woman with regular painted nails (no length/embellishments) will be pretty normal, but typically your basic b*tch. She likes pretending she can dance, going to brunch, doing facemasks, and drinking overly sugared coffee.

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A girl with medium nails has a bit more sass and attitude. She tries to pull one over on men, tell them that they ain’t sh*t, is pretty unorganized and messy, and often times is hella unpredictable. She may not be the craziest of the bunch, but she’s definitely one to keep an eye on.

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Last and finally, Rocky describes what a woman (or the she-devil) is like with long nails. Obviously, she’s way more sassier than any of the other woman with shorter nails, or even medium nails. And, she probably sells drugs (ouch), and, she claims she “doesn’t need a man,” but, will most likely ruin your entire life (just saying).

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Seriously—watch his videos because they are way too hilarious and spot-on. From all the girls that I have met in my life, I can tell you that this is #FACTS.

People on Twitter were in full, 100% agreement.

h/t: Twitter.