Kids say the darndest things—that we know to be true. And, while some of the things that they say are completely and utterly inappropriate for their age, we cannot deny that there is some truth to their antics. When we stop and think about it, our kids do say some pretty true facts.
4-year-old: Can I have some of your candy?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 13, 2017
Wife: I got this for Mother's Day.
4: You're only a mom because of me.
I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed "yay! TWO christmases!" from the other room.— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) May 6, 2017
[At dinner]— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 3, 2016
Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat?
Me: Probably like 90%
D: So it's 10% balls?
Me: *spits out food*
dad: "come on, you guys are LATE!!!!"— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) June 30, 2016
11yo: "you should have started YELLING at us earlier!"
Me:"Sweetie, what do you say when you do something wrong?"— Kathy Cooperman (@Kathy_Cooperman) April 4, 2016
4yo: "I didn't do that!"
3yo: “You need to get your cuddles from someone else I am REALLY busy and you’ve already had enough”— Leena 🔜 GDC (@LeenaVanD) November 24, 2016
I didn’t birth you for such rejection
Me: I think I ate too much.— Aaron Aryanpur (@aaroncomedian) November 26, 2016
4yo: Yeah, but not just today.
10: Mom what's a metaphor?— Sardonic Tart (@SardonicTart) December 12, 2014
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
6YR OLD: does it hurt, daddy?— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) August 17, 2016
ME: [with a tissue up my nose to stop the bleeding] yes
6: good...that'll teach you not to eat my ice cream
Me: "You didn't even notice my hair!"— Tara Dutkiewicz (@FoodieAndFamily) October 2, 2015
Logan: "I'm not married to you...not my job!" #ShitMyKidsSay
My 11yo wrote me an apology for misbehaving in the car that included "I love you so much but sometimes forget to care about your existence."— Amanda Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) April 27, 2016
7yo- You worked way harder than me today, dad.— Houle Family Dairy (@dailydairydiary) November 20, 2016
Me: I always will, lil buddy.
7: Not when you're dead.
Me: (Whispers) Jesus Christ.
Me: Please get dressed.— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) September 1, 2016
9yo: But you're still in your pajamas!
Me: I AM dressed.
9yo: Is that what you're calling [waves palm at me] this?
Me: We all make mistakes.— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016
5: Even you?
5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
Me: *sings along to radio*— Melissa McCartney (@ToastyGiraffe) November 26, 2016
3yo: why don't you let it sing all by itself?
Me: "Did you realize I'm the best dad in the house?"— Stuff My Kids Say (@StuffMyKidsSay3) May 7, 2017
My 13 yr-old: "Yeah, but you're also the worst dad in the house."
7yo: Why can't I have coffee?— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) August 13, 2016
Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are
7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!
7yr old daughter walked in the room, casually confirmed, "You have to have a backstory to why you're evil, right?" And walked out.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 24, 2016
7yo: I could see you and my teacher getting married.— The Dad (@thedad) September 1, 2016
Me: I'm married to your mom.
7yo: Well you could get a divorce.
(My 7yo is savage af.)
(Man hobbles into grocery store using a cane)— Sweatpants Cher 🔶 (@House_Feminist) June 3, 2016
5: HEY MOM THAT MAN IS USING A WALKING STICK BC HIS BONES AREN'T STRONG & HE'LL DIE SOON RIGHT
h/t: Bored Panda