Sometimes in life, dads don’t always know what they should about raising little girls. As we get older, things change—our bodies, our likes, our moods—and, having our dads understand what we’re going through makes our adolescence much easier. Recently, a Reddit thread asked, “Daughters of Reddit, what is something you wish your father knew about girls when you were growing up?”
And, boy, did women deliver.
My dad was a high school teacher that taught at a really good school. As a teen, I wanted to attend the school my dad taught at but he and my mother insisted I attended a different one that was apparently “of a better standard”. It wasn’t until years later my mother admitted to me that the reason I was put in a different school was because my dad didn’t want me to get teased by other students about him or feel embarrassed by him.
I wish my dad knew he could never embarrass me.
The way you treat your wife/girlfriend can teach how I’m supposed to expect men to treat me.
That I’m not a boy, and it hurts immensely when you spend more time with the neighbor’s son than you own daughter because I’m not the boy you wanted.
Don’t act like feminine things are shameful or boring. Don’t be the dad who stays out in his car during his daughter’s ballet class because sitting with the dance moms is too embarrassing.
If we’re avoiding a male relative’s house, take the hint! Don’t force us to go.
I can do more than just cook you food and mend your clothes. When I was entering high school I wanted to go into the automotive repair class. It was a 4 year program and I needed a parent’s signature. He wouldn’t do it because I was a girl. My mom signed for me. Don’t tell your daughters they can’t do something because of their gender. Encourage them to try new things even if it doesn’t fit your idea of what a girl should be into.
Accept the fact that your daughter will eventually need OBGYN visits, birth control, and will participate in dating and sex at some point. You don’t have to be happy about it but please don’t shame me or make me feel ashamed that I enjoy being human. I have to leave the room or wait for dad to leave in order to call my OBGYN office and I’m 23 years old.
It doesn’t make you look weak to show affection once in a while. My dad hardly ever hugged us or said he loved us.
It’s not that simple to ignore other girls when they keep messing with you.
I’m jealous of all that time and money you spent on my brother and getting to know him as a person. I wish you’d just treat me like a person, not some vagina you felt the need to creepily guard until I got married.
Rather than revising his sexist beliefs when I disproved them, he praised me as being a singular exception. This raised me as a pretty sexist person myself and was a real “I’m not that kind of girl” girl for a long time to my own detriment.
Pay attention to the media your kid consumes, and don’t dismiss girl-oriented media. Girls crave female role models, so make sure your daughter gets exposed to female characters who are problem solvers, adventurers, and leaders.
That we will grow to have our own opinions.
You’re allowed to think my boyfriend or girlfriend is cool. You don’t have to try to be all intimidating towards them. They’re not here to hurt me.
It’s not fair to have different expectations for your son versus your daughter.
My brother had absolutely no curfew. There were times he didnt come home at all. Me? 9p curfew in high school. My dad would sit on the couch in the dark to catch me coming in at 9:05p to flip out on me.
I was very accomplished and my dad always seemed so unimpressed. In his eyes there was something I always could have done better. My brother is a major fuck up and any basic thing he does right was met with amazement and congratulations.
Speaking of fucking up, my brother could mess up 100 times and my dad wouldnt have too much to say about it. Me, a proud goody 2 shoes, could mess up once and my dad would go straight hulk on me to where I never messed up again bc I didnt want to hear his mouth
Brother has never been married but has lived with multiple women. If I lived with a guy that wasnt my husband my dad would probably stop speaking to me.
That breasts may not grow the same size at the same time. Sometimes only one breast develops and the other may take months for the hormones to take and start growing. It is perfectly normal and there’s no need to panic.
My virginity is not a defining point of who I am as a person. I know he doesn not want to see me get hurt or taken advantage of, but I am aware of my own body (sex. Ed. Matters!!!) And know how to take care of myself. I’m 23 and I still havent told him I’m not a virgin.
Not to make endless inappropriate comments abou women around me. Even now my dad does this and I have to be like “she’s my aɡe, keep the creepy comments in your head”
Not to ɡo on about how women who have been assaulted are liars – especially after your dauɡhter tells you it has happened to her
Basically don’t be a biɡ trash baɡ of sexism.
Just because I am a girl doesn’t mean I am invalid and empty-headed. I have many opinions, thoughts, and feelings. I am an intelligent young woman, something you tried so hard to keep me from believing. Please do not dismiss me and tell me I know nothing simply because you think women are less than men. Maybe then I wouldn’t have grown to resent him so much…
The tighter the leash, the farther I’ll drift
Being a woman does not make me a “wimp”. My dad will be driving like a maniac and I’ll be trying to get him to slow down and he’ll say “Wimps. Sometimes I forget that you’re girls.” Both of your daughters have anxiety disorders. Slow the heck down. Or he’ll use our gender as the reason we don’t like the TV super loud or don’t like finding puddles on the kitchen floor. He’s so hard to talk to.
That I’m not faking feeling like shit when the first day of my period hits randomly because it hasn’t regulated yet and won’t until I’m about 17. And getting up in class to use the restroom bc I’m having constant bowl movements is hard when you’re limited to 2 bathroom passes a day so its just easier to stay home. I did not like missing school.
It is just a phase. (Was pretending to be ultra girly and bratty)
I do enjoy classic rock more than I ever mentioned.
Just because I didnt speak for hours didnt mean I was mad or upset.
That I want to learn to fish and hunt properly like you but I was too scared to ask. I love outdoor activities but I’m not athletic.
I hate romcoms and musicals as much as you did. And that just because I was a girl didnt mean I liked listening to Britney Spears/Christina Aguilera or watching said romcoms/musicals lol.
And that I love you and sorry for being a bitchy little teenager.
Don’t be scared of having your picture taken. If your daughter wants to take pictures of you, or especially with you, let them.
My dad died when I was 13 years old and then I realized that all of his hiding from the camera meant I was left with only a handful of photos. You don’t realize how important they can be until you aren’t able to make new ones.”
It’s important for a daughter to have a personal bond with her father, so have a hobby or activity that just the two of you do — no matter how small. Don’t only spend time with your daughter when the whole family is together.